• Home
  • Newcomers
    • Resources for Newcomers
    • Find a Church Near You
    • Good News in the Garden State: Our Weekly Newsletter
  • Who We Are
    • Diocesan History and Information
    • About Bishop Stokes
      • Bishop’s Visitation Calendar
    • Committees and Organizations
    • Staff
    • Trinity Cathedral in Trenton
    • Map of the Diocese / List of Churches
  • News, Events & Programs
    • Episcopal Community Services
      • Give to Episcopal Community Services
    • Diocesan Calendar
      • Add an Event
      • Diocesan Events
      • Upcoming Diocesan Events
      • Congregational Events
      • Diocesan Meetings or Notices
        • Disaster Resiliency Ministry
    • Diocesan Convention
    • Anti-Racism Training
    • Safe Church Training/Entrenamiento seguro de la iglesia
    • Good News in the Garden State: Our Weekly Newsletter
    • Stewardship/Project Resource
    • Anti-Racism in the Diocese of New Jersey
    • MLK Day of Service
    • Jubilee Ministry
    • Misionero Latino/Hispano Regional para la DiĂłcesis
    • Older Adult Ministry
    • Upcoming Diocesan Offerings
    • Young Adult Ministry
    • Youth Ministry
  • Congregations/Clergy
    • Annual Clergy Conference
    • Board of Consultation
      • Board of Consultation Application
    • Congregational Development and Mission
      • The Way of St. Paul
    • Constitution and Canons
    • Diocesan Meeting Calendar
    • Discerning our Common Call
    • Discernment for the Diaconate and Priesthood
    • For Retired Clergy and Spouses
    • Marks Of Mission
    • Resources, Documents, and Forms
    • Sexual Misconduct: Prevention, Policies, Procedures
    • Spiritual Direction
    • Transition Ministry
  • Covid-19 Resources
    • Vaccine Help
    • Guidance for Reopening
    • FAQs
    • Covid-19 Info
    • Finance Info
    • Support NJ Episcopal Community Services
    • Community and Outreach Resources
    • Online Formation
    • Liturgy & Worship Resources
    • Virtual Annual Meetings
    • Online Worship Schedule
  • Contact

Leaving Well Guidelines – Clergy Leave-Taking

Saying goodbye and letting go are difficult. To do both well helps insure a healthy transition to the interim period and later to the leadership of the newly called priest. The following guidelines, though often difficult for both priest and parish, provide a context for healthy disengagement and closure.

The priest must:

  • Remove all personal belongings from the church including books and vestments.
  • Give all parish keys and other parish belongings in his or her control to the wardens.
  • Give the discretionary fund and any other funds in his or her control to the wardens.

The priest will inform the wardens, vestry and congregation that he or she agrees:

  • Not to serve members of the congregation pastorally, and he/she will be clear with all parish members that his/her pastoral relationship with them has ended.
  • Not to be available to officiate at weddings, baptisms, funerals or other services at the former parish except by specific invitation of the interim priest or the newly called priest, and then only for a weighty cause. Participation in such services is at the discretion of the interim priest or newly called priest.  This does not preclude attendance at such services.
  • Not to attend any social activities at the former parish unless invited by the interim priest or the newly called priest. Expect that any invitation may be after the new rector has been in place for a full year and not before.
  • Not to have discussions of concerns about the parish with members of the parish. Refer such to the interim or new rector.
  • Not attend regular worship for the interim period and a period of a year after the new rector arrives. Should the priest wish to attend his or her former parish after that time, the priest should contact the Bishop.
  • Disengage from all parish-based social media platforms.

The guidelines recognize that, during the tenure of a pastoral relationship, genuine and often lifelong relationships are formed and that there remains a need on the part of the priest and some former parishioners to maintain these long-standing, meaningful friendships.   However, it should be noted that clear distinctions between the pastoral identity and the identity as personal friend must be clarified and appropriate boundaries concerning the former must be established.  It should also be recognized that continued participation in the life of the parish at any level may be a cause for pain rather than encouragement toward the new reality and development of new boundaries.

Guidelines for Departing Clergy’s Family:

The family of the leaving or retired rector or Priest-in-Charge, who may have engaged in ministry in or out of the parish, been part of leadership (Vestry), and in some cases employed by the church,  is now in a delicate situation, having to deal with the new dynamic.  It has been painful for some to let go because their ministry and networks were formed both because of their relationship to the rector and apart from that.  Experience has taught that withdrawal from these activities is best.  If one is a Vestry member, or employed by the church, that family member should resign.

The spouse/partner must also refrain from criticism of the vestry, staff, interim or new rector and avoid being drawn into any triangulation with members of the parish.

(Adapted from Episcopal Dioceses of Connecticut and Atlanta)

Coronavirus Resources Menu

  • Home
  • Vaccination Help
  • Reopening Guidance
  • Covid-19 Info
  • Finance Info
  • FAQs
  • Support NJ-ECS
  • Community & Outreach
  • Online Formation
  • Liturgy & Worship
  • Online Worship Schedule

Find Us on Facebook

Episcopal Diocese of New Jersey
808 W. State Street
Trenton, NJ 08618
609.394.5281
info@dioceseofnj.org

Our Purpose

We seek to carry out lives of compassion and charity, and to spread the good news of the Gospel to a world that is hungry for God.

 

Follow Us

facebook
youtube
twitter

Contact

Episcopal Diocese of New Jersey
808 West State Street
Trenton, NJ 08618

609.394.5281
info@dioceseofnj.org